I honestly can’t believe it’s already the 29th of Decemeber.
2015 is almost at an end and time just seems to be flying. I know we say that often but this year just seemed to go by furiously fast. This month just went by even faster.
People say time flies when you’re having fun. Well, it’s not the only way time flies. It also seems to go by much faster when you have lots to do and not enough time to do it.
This whole year I seemed to spend my time catching up to something. I don’t know what it was I was trying to catch up to. I dont know if I even achieved anything much, but at this stage I’m not about to sit and think about what I should have done or could not do.
I can say that at least I started studying again, which has been a long time goal for me, so I’m kind of proud of myself.
The second half of this year has been tumultuous for me, to say the least. But, so be it. I’ve learned one good thing… Letting go. I’ve also become more spiritual, which is probably a good thing and, I’ve cried a lot less. May be that’s because I feel stronger or may be I’m losing my emotions. Either way, it can’t be a bad thing.
As the year comes to a close, I wish my fellow bloggers and wonderful readers a very Happy New Year and sincerely hope you have a good 2016.
One of the things I’ve been doing lately is writing without restrictions. I know this is probably something that writers practice doing all the time but for people who write reports and such, it’s probably not the way to go about it. However, I think it can work for any type of writing and especially in this day and age, when we have computers so editing isn’t a problem at all.
I think I read somewhere that it’s important for the brain to to just let loose. Well I guess the article said with more professional words but, you get the basic picture. We need to have barriers when it comes to getting ideas flowing. I’ve noticed this helping me a lot recently. Whether it’s making to-do lists, or writing a report, or even just journaling. Stopping to think about what you’ve written or what should be written next just creates a mental block.
I’ve started to seriously use this for my to-do list as well. In a way it is also the basis for the GTD method, write everything down and then prioritize. Just take a piece of paper, be it in your planner or a notepad, and write down everything you have to do including buying milk. This way you get everything out of your head. Then take the time to schedule it in for specific days or group by type, shopping, work, etc.
Most importantly, I’m finding it very useful when it comes to writing out my report. When I stop to edit while I’m writing, I realize that I lose my train of thought. I’m feeling some improvement and it’s really helping with the procrastination as well. I actually write instead of getting stuck in the planning phase and worrying about the piece being perfect. And in case you don’t like what you’ve written, there’s always the backspace or delete key.
We don’t always have to do something, take action…
Sometimes we can just watch and wait…
In a previous post, I mentioned how I had found my friend after many years. Well, there’s another part to that story. Continuing on, we got into a discussion reminiscing old times obviously. And to my utter surprise, he said he had the biggest crush on me back then. Apparently, his whole reason for hanging out with us, coming around, was to see me. I obviously had no clue he felt this way. In fact, we were all convinced that he was in love with another friend of ours. And we even teased her about it. Wow, little did we now, how wrong we were.
I was always friendly with him. But at the time, I was seriously crushing on someone else and I remember even telling him about it. I never really understood why he stopped coming around soon after that. Now it makes sense, I guess.
I know it all sounds like some bad romantic comedy or teenage drama movie. But it seems things like these actually happen in real life too. I couldn’t help but wonder after that how many of these incidences they may have been. I don’t mean how many people had a crush on me (LOL), but rather how many times did someone just never reveal their feelings about someone they liked. I don’t know. Had he told me how he felt, what would have happened? May be it would have ruined our friendship or may be it could have turned into something wonderful. Could I have been the one that got away? We will never know…
No way, I just couldn’t do it. I tried. I honestly did. But, I guess I’m just old school. I recently gave an exam for a professional qualification. I started studying around 6 months before the exam. So when you sign up, you can choose to get either e-books or, printed versions or, both. At first, I thought… Wow having e-books would be so convenient. I would be able to carry them around every where and get a little bit of reading done at any time. I have finished a number of books on my kindle, tablet and phone, so the prospect didn’t seem so far fetched.
But when it comes to actually studying, I realised it was next to impossible for me. Not only did my eyes get tired faster, I couldn’t really retain information. I don’t know why. May be it has something to do with the scrolling or, it’s just me getting old.
I’m sure there are people out there who would be laughing at this post right now. I know there are, since Amazon has a whole range of options of renting text books online for a semester. I suppose it’s not so bad if the books are for reference only (easier to hit the search function too). But, when it comes to actual studying, I need to highlight, underline, mark, write little notes to myself. I guess, I needed the extra active studying because I hadn’t really done in so long. Anyway, I gave up in a few days and just waited for my printed books to arrive. As heavy as they were, I decided to carry a book around some of the time, because I realised an e-textbook just wasn’t my thing.
So lately I’ve been trying to write around themes and topics, mainly choosing from my list of drafts. But today, I’m down and I just feel like writing. I’ve just been so overwhelmed with everything lately. I’m alone at home taking care of the kid so somehow managing between school, work and a pseudo-day care. My mom’s away so I have no one to help out and there’s just so much to do. To top that, work has been crap. I’ve been leaving around 7 every evening which is horrible because I hardly have time to run through some school work and dinner. It’s still past her bed time by the time I can get her down and she struggles to wake up every morning. She’s been a good sport though, not complaining about anything even the quickly made meals or leftover pasta. Oh and did I mention, she’s having her term exams.
But today was exceptionally depressing. After all the work I’ve put in, the long hours, the foregone holidays, picking up other people’s slack… My boss still seems to think I’m not doing enough and I’m lacking somehow. This sucks. I don’t know what to think or make of it. May be I’m taking it too much to heart because I’m tired and overwhelmed otherwise. I don’t know. But I am a bit depressed today and I just want to feel down for a bit.